Dolphins can’t be trained through punishment or force. Rather, they require steady, positive reinforcement and encouragement. When dolphins successfully perform a requested behavior they’re rewarded with treats and praise. When they don’t perform as requested, nothing is done to them — their trainer simply redirects the dolphin to try again.

We can train ourselves in the same patient and kind way. Notice when your thoughts or speech or actions are kind, wise, and beneficial, and take time to rejoice in your beautiful qualities. You can do this regularly, using the the Gladden Your Mind practices below, taken from my book, Steady, Calm, and Brave.

Take time each evening to remember anything you thought, said, did, or experienced that was beneficial, kind, generous, or wise.

Keep a journal and write it all down.

It might include a text you sent to check on your niece who’s out of work and job hunting; it could be when you fondly remembered an old friend who lives in Minnesota; and it may be when you took time to make yourself a healthy breakfast instead of just drinking coffee all morning.
You can include events from the past too, like the time in first grade when you stopped your mom from killing a spider and released it outdoors, or ten years ago when you prayed for your sick grandmother.

Include the kindnesses and support you’ve received, in- cluding current and past moments, such as when you were ten years old fishing by yourself and a stranger helped you untangle your line, or last week when your local pharmacist filled your prescription for you right away so you wouldn’t have to wait until the next day.