I’ve always loved planning—organizing and mapping out events, projects, vacations, and financial projections helps me prepare appropriately and lessens my impulse to worry. But sometimes planning makes me feel that I have control over the future, or that things _should_ turn out the way I predicted, and when they don’t, I feel frustrated and disappointed.

Since everything is always changing and impermanent, none of us will get all the things we’ve worked towards or predicted or planned, no matter how much we demand or prepare. Living wisely means that we let go of our attachment to outcomes and learn to be with each moment as it unfolds, and meet it as it is. Then, when things don’t turn out the way we planned, we don’t have to reject them —we can meet them with wisdom and adapt as skillfully as possible. And when things do turn out the way we planned, we can meet them with gratitude and appreciation, not expectation.

If you’re feeling stressed from insisting things go your way, try this practice. Find a quiet place, get still, take a few deep exhales and inhales, put your hand on your heart, and say silently, “May I meet this moment with wisdom and kindness”, then think of a dear friend who may be struggling right now too, and silently say, “May you meet this moment with wisdom and kindness”, finally try to include everyone and say, “May we meet this moment with wisdom and kindness.” Repeat as necessary.