Recently, I’ve been worried about plans working out and the possibility of failing, and fearful of making the wrong decision. When this happens, I’ve found it helpful to remember all the many times in my life when I’ve had to solve a problem, deal with a disappointment, or even put my life back together after change or loss. I call this my Got Through It list, and it includes the time my cat fell out of a five story window; my life in my twenties without a college degree and working as a waitress, unsure of what to do or where to go; and a breakup with a serious boyfriend in my thirties and how hard it was to start over as a single person again. The Got Through It list reminds me that I’m a competent person and I can trust myself. I know I have the tools to meet any outcome with skill, kindness, and self-compassion because I’ve done it many times before.

If you’re feeling unsure of yourself, I encourage you to write your own “Got Through It” list. You’ll be surprised how many times you’ve managed to find your way through difficulties, and reassured that you have so many strengths and skills to support you again today.